In Which My 7:13 A.M. Commute Becomes a Live Marriage Counseling Session, Lightly Spritzed with Betrayal ⸻ Let me just say this: I didn’t ask

Let’s set the scene. You’re born. There’s crying, some slapping, a bunch of applause you didn’t ask for, and then—bam! You’re enrolled in the full-time,

A Symphony of Sinuses in D Major (Dust, Dander, and Despair) Let me set the scene. It’s April in D.C. The cherry blossoms are blooming.

The Tale of a DRP Dodger, DEI Diplomacy, and a Casual Tuesday Existential Crisis So technically, this isn’t a Metro observation. I wasn’t being jostled

How I Pulled a Muscle, Spilled My Coffee, and Still Felt Like a Champion 🚨 The Chime of Doom Every commuter has that one story.

Why My Commute Home Made Me Question Everything (Including My Seatmate, My Life Choices, and the Current State of Phone Privacy Etiquette) Let me set

Or, That Time I Got Secondhand High and Morally Confronted Before Coffee There are things I expect when I step onto a DC Metro platform

This week on Metro Confessions, we’re diving deep into the underworld of public transit etiquette—specifically, the war crime that is hocking a loogie in an

Or, That Time My Child Assessed My Career and Intelligence with Surgical Precision… In Public We interrupt our usual programming of DC Metro drama, escalator

This event didn’t technically happen on the DC Metro, but let’s be real—this city is full of public transit weirdos, and it deserves a place